cactuseeds oceanwriting oceanwriting used to hate the taste of alcoholcause it was only good if you were a grown-up and i was not a grown-upused to hate the taste of alcohol cause it made me think of throwing up in the bathtub and i was not the girl who got drunk and threw up in the bathtub used to hate the smell of smokecause it gave me asthma attacks at parties and i wanted to be able to breatheused to hate the smell of smokecause it made me think of cheating on my boyfriend and i was not the kind of girl who cheated on her boyfriendused to hate a lotcause it was all only for very bad girls, and i was not the kind of girl who did very bad thingsnow i miss the taste of honestycause it was only really there on her lipsnow i miss the taste of honestycause i think of how i tasted it once–how i had her once–and i am not the kind of girl who lets go of that tasteof those lipsof those things that i hatedand those things that i missed my writing